Lynda Moore asks, what does money mean to you? What would your money attitudes say about you as a person? How you answer can help you make changes for the better

I was asked to speak to a group of young job seekers who were on a programme to help them find work. It covered everything from presentation skills, to interviews, applying for jobs, and everything else job related.  There were also a couple of sessions about money.  I got the fun topic of talking about Money Mindset.

When it comes to money, strange as it sounds, we all have a relationship with it.  When you think about it, it does make sense.  Money is everywhere, we really can’t ‘opt out’ and say we want nothing to do with it.  Unless you want to be a hermit in the deepest darkest Amazon jungle where there are no other people, and you can be self-sufficient; that’s certainly not my idea of fun!

Just like the young people I was talking to, I hadn't really thought about it either, money was just there (or not) depending on what day of the week it was and how close to payday. OK, that was many years ago when I was young, single and carefree, or I liked to think I was, but looking back now, even then money permeated my thoughts and actions.

Whether you like it or not, you have a relationship with money.  Love it or hate it, money is everywhere and like any relationship there are good relationships and bad.

I could see that I had my young job seekers attention, they were really starting to think about how they felt about money.

 A little tongue in cheek, but think about it this way, if you were dating money what would it say about you?

I have clients who love money, they look after it, nurture and grow it and in return money looks after them and rewards them with what they want in life both materially and their financial security.

I will never forget the conversation with one of my business clients, when I asked her what she thought her relationship was with money, she didn’t even have to think about it.  ‘I hate it. I hate that I never have enough of it, I can’t manage it, and I spend too much of my life worrying about it’.  I wasn’t too surprised with her answer as I saw that pattern in how she ran her business, lurching from one financial crisis to another.

Unlike a spouse or partner, you can’t leave it and start again.  This relationship is with you for life, and you carry it with you wherever you go and whatever you do.

Other people are also interested in your relationship with money.  The movie Four Weddings and a Funeral (an oldy, but a goody) sums it up well.  ‘Have you got enough to support me when I marry you?’ and ‘When you die, is there anything left for me’?

It is important to understand your own relationship with money.  Once you have a better sense of that, then you can move on to the meaning you associate with money.  Every decision you make will flow from this meaning and associated emotions.

By now my young listeners were on a roll.

I asked them this question. “When you think of money what is the first word that pops into your head”?  That word is the primary meaning money has for you.

Sustenance was the first word that one of the group came out with. Then another said Fun!, another said Stress, another Freedom.

I challenge you to ask yourself the same question and see what your answer is, and then, if you are in a relationship, ask your partner what their answer is and see if you are in alignment with each other.

Here’s some examples for you.

If money means security to you, you probably won’t take too many risks with your money, you will be more conservative in your investments and think of the long-term impact of your decisions.

If money means power to you, then you will probably take more risks and may use money to control and influence others.

What about Freedom? You may not want to invest in a home, travel and seeing the world is more important to you. 

If Freedom and Security are in a relationship together, there are a few conversations that will need to be had to see how you can compliment and compromise with each other. You want to both feel fulfilled and comfortable with your relationship with money and each other.

These examples are generalisations, and there will be many more money meanings that you will come up with yourself. 

How does this gem of information help you?  Once you know what your relationship is with money, and what it means to you, you can use that to assess financial decisions before you make them.

The good news is that you can change your relationship with money.  If you feel you consistently make bad financial decisions, go back and see what meaning you were attaching to that decision, change the meaning and you can change the decision and the path that you are on.

*Lynda Moore is a Money Mentalist coach and New Zealand’s only certified New Money Story® mentor. Lynda helps you understand why you do the things you do with your money, when we all know we should spend less than we earn. You can contact her here.