Elizabeth Davies argues being poor has its benefits when it comes to Valentine's Day because it makes you creative

By Elizabeth Davies

We’re swiftly approaching everybody’s favourite, or most despised day. Believe it or not, it’s been another year and Valentine's is back. It seems I blinked and it was once again that time of year when the shops are overtaken by hearts, your partner is looking at you a little too expectantly and Facebook is haunted by sulky singles and vomit inducing new romances.

At no other time of year are single people so cruelly reminded of their lack of a spouse. Everyone is desperate to spend money on someone, it doesn’t really matter who, they just can’t bare the possibility of spending the day alone. Don’t be fooled however, being in a relationship on Valentine's can be just as miserable and challenging.

Massive advertising campaigns attempt to convince us that this one day, this one gift, is the ultimate definition of how we feel about that significant other. As a result people spend ridiculous amounts of money trying to out-romance, out-do, and generally out-spend each other. It’s as if some people genuinely believe that the amount of money one spends directly correlates to the amount of love they have.

Valentine's is a bit like Christmas. I resent the obligation to buy something in order to ‘prove’ my love for someone, who hopefully already knows how I feel. That being said I’m a total romantic, I thoroughly appreciate the idea of celebrating love, I’m just not so fond of the obligation to prove it with an expensive gift.

If you do choose to buy someone jewellery, my one piece of advice should be taken very seriously. Unless you are proposing, don’t buy your girlfriend a ring. Her expectations are already subconsciously high, and at this time of the year that’s one misunderstanding you don’t want to have. The conversation that follows is never fun for either party.

For me Valentine's is about thought, time, and making things personal. Parents always say that the best gift their kids can give them is something home made. I’m not suggesting you go out and give your partner gold painted macaroni drawings covered in glue and glitter, but I am saying don’t stroll into the supermarket and pick something off the Valentine's display rack.

Last year I got a massage from my partner and a home cooked candlelit dinner. If cooking isn’t your thing just make the time to do something together, even if it’s going for a long walk or feeding ducks or practically anything your partner likes. Just remember that when you commit to giving someone time you have to do it whole heartedly. That means turn your phone off, and keep it off.

I normally write about how my lack of money is an issue in my day to day life. This is one time of year when it’s ok to be poor. In fact, it’s kind of good to not have the easy cop out option of buying a pricey gift and a prewritten card. Being poor makes you creative, it forces you to think of little ways to show someone how you feel, without resorting to a price tag.

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*Elizabeth Davies is a 23 year old post-graduate journalism student at Auckland University of Technology. She lives with her partner in Epsom and spends her free time refurbishing vintage furniture and attempting to bake while fighting a daily battle against her bank balance. She writes a weekly article for interest.co.nz on money matters and financial struggles from a young person's perspective.