Amanda's Take Five for Wednesday

Personal Finance

When can a man afford to marry?; Divorcing your work spouse; A $23K spending fast; Disconnections; Borrowing from family

3rd Oct 12, 8:36am by Amanda Morrall

By Amanda Morrall

1) The marrying man

I believe it was Artistole who said man should wait until he was 40 to marry. There's probably some wisdom in that. A lot has changed since Aristotle's deep thinking days and the institution of marriage has for many couples become a questionable proposition particularly so in the secular West where women are no longer dependent on a man as a financial plan.

What are the implications for men, at least those without the financial clout and status to lure a mate? Albert Okagbue, writing for The Good Life, ponders the intersection of men, money and women in "Marriage Does Not have to Wait for Money."

2) Divorcing your work spouse

Workplace relationships can be an occupational hazard in some professions. Dr. Michael Woody, author of The You Plan: a 5-step guide to taking charge of your career in the new economy, shares some strategies to stay clear of potential land mines with the boss and real spouse in this personal finance blog published on Fox Business.

3) A $23K spending fast

It's quite remarkable how much fat you can cut out of your budget when you put your mind to it. U.S. News details one woman's account of how she paid off US$23K in debt by getting her non essential spending under control. Behaviour modification 101.

4) Disconnecting from your mobile

Six years ago, I didn't own a mobile phone, I didn't know what predictive text was, let alone how to send a text. Ignorance really was bliss. I also didn't have the foggiest clue just how expensive owning one of these devices was.

Now on the odd occasion I forget my mobile at home or it quits for whatever reason, I panic. The funny thing is, after a few hours, when the panic subsides a Zen like calm enfolds me. Others I know, who've either lost, misplaced or broken their phones report a similar sense of relief, after the initial withdrawal phase, when becoming detached from their device. I believe it's because that virtual disconnection forces us to live more attentively in the present and to connect with those people in our immediate vicinity.

Anton Troianovski, writing for the Wall Street Journal, looks at the how more Americans are choosing to give up their mobiles to save more.

5) Borrowing from family

Borrowing money from friends and or family seems like a good idea in theory however in reality it's a practice fraught with danger, for a number of reasons. New York Times money columnist Rob Lieber explores some strategies to keep money in the family without causing a feud.

To read other Take Fives by Amanda Morrall click here. You can also follow Amanda on Twitter @amandamorrall

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39 Comments

by neili | 3rd Oct 12, 9:21am 1349209264

I used to be a smart young thing with my flash cell phone but it finally dawned on me that whilst there were moments when it was very handy it was also a hassle carrying it, charging it,paying for it etc.

Haven't had one in 10 years now and the world hasn't stopped turning. In fact it can be a very pleasant and simple place.

by ngakonui gold | 3rd Oct 12, 10:21am 1349212861

my late father loaned me some money to purchase an asset some years ago .

some months later he said not to bother paying it back as he had more than enough to keep him going.

3 days later he unexpectantly passed away and so the fun and games began with other members of the family.

in hindsight it would have been better to go to a bank because the fall out within the family,accusations,insinuations etc on both sides have taken a toll.

a valuable lesson has been learnt.

by Uninterested | 3rd Oct 12, 10:34am 1349213647

Lesson 1. Get it in writing.

by John | 3rd Oct 12, 3:09pm 1349230165

Being in a relationship and being hen pecked can be mutually exclusive.

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 11:58am 1349218702

#1 yeah but he also said spontaneity and chance are causes of some things. Most of us men don't choose to get married, it usually happens in a brief period of rash exuberance when we are too young to know any better.

You also have to factor in that when Aristotle was around, life expectancy was less than 60 years (he lived to the ripe old age of 61). So really what he was saying is wait until you are retired before getting married.

I think that's great advice :-)

by Christov | 3rd Oct 12, 12:12pm 1349219564

Wasn't Aristotle gay....? I think he was gay, and free thinking on the matter, as do many that have studied his observations ...on life.

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 12:23pm 1349220217

Well then you have to get into the whole debate about the greek scholarly lifestyle that involves boys playing naked sports including wrestling, and that young students entered into a kind of pedophilic gay relationship with their mentor until they were a maritable age - and does that make them gay?

here you go...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_ancient_Greece

by Christov | 3rd Oct 12, 12:36pm 1349221014

No here you go Stanley.......http://www.philosophos.com/knowledge_base/archives_13/philosophy_questions_1375.html

In the day it was more commonly practiced as sex among equals than Homosexuality.

Get that...sex...among ...equals...is that a bit sexist >>?

So by modern standards, you could say yes, gay or gay leaning, but by the standard of the time it was fairly normal altogether.

Anyhoo his gayness was not my point , my point was the alterior motive for not engaging in Marriage.

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 12:43pm 1349221386

Well it's interesting that the Ancient Greeks still hadn't (dis)covered the concept of 'gayness' during the time of Aristotles philosophical musings, but they had discovered the dangers of women :-)

The Ancient Greeks are much wiser than we give them credit for...

by Christov | 3rd Oct 12, 12:48pm 1349221701

Indeed they may have been Stanley,..... it's truly a shame they can't claim intellectual property on it....may have solved their financial insolvency.

by Gummy Bear Hero | 3rd Oct 12, 12:53pm 1349222008

..... now that the era of Jenny Shipley / Helen Clark has closed , many voters have discovered the dangers of women ....

So much for the BS that the world would be a better place if it was run by women ......

..... we'd all be back living in the caves ! ..... but if it's any consolation , at least the caves would be swept clean , and spotless ....

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 1:02pm 1349222527

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with you on that one GBH. Other than Christine Lagarde at the IMF, I think women are doing a much better job of running things. For every Shipley there is a Merkel, and for every Clark there's a Thatcher (Compared to her Cameron looks like a timid public school wimp).

Of course as you point out NZ hasn't really stepped up to the plate with any great women leaders. I think it's the Theresa Gattung Effect - but at least she pioneered the current worldwide trend of CEOs being completely useless at running a company and still getting large renumeration.

by SK | 3rd Oct 12, 12:26pm 1349220390

For me these articles are very much 'scarcity menality' and fear.

How about a positive outlook - 'abundance mentality' where the whole world is not actually against you (suprise!) and it is possible to occasionally enjoy a glass of wine at a restaurant or make a call on a mobile phone without the world collapsing and you going broke.

How about going and doing an interview at the icehouse?

Careful though - they may scare you with their positive energy and thinking past their monthly phone bill!

by steven | 3rd Oct 12, 12:31pm 1349220716

Funny but the ppl with "positive energy" Ive met are usually full of hot air and/or bulls*t....prozac junkies....everybody loves them until they screw up....then they are lepers....enjoy.

Im thinking well past the monthly bill, hence concern......

regards

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 12:44pm 1349221492

I worked at The Icehouse for about a year. On reflection I'd say the people there are about as positive as any other person who feels in control of their own life, but not more so

by SK | 3rd Oct 12, 2:19pm 1349227198

...and take responsibility and action for happiness and control in their lives.

So - head and shoulders above most people then.

by Ralph | 3rd Oct 12, 2:16pm 1349227000

Hear hear.

Life is a wonderful and splendid thing overflowing with goodness of every kind.

by steven | 3rd Oct 12, 12:28pm 1349220533

4. My mobile is circa 2005 and I was given it for nothing (as a hand me down), right now Im not even sure where it is. I top up once or twice a year at $20, maybe $30, 2degree's is half the cost of vodafone, great. They are useful for the odd call and an emergency...otherwse I think they ruin your life.

One thing to watch if you have a work phone and carry it while not working, they might try and get you to claim on your house / car insurance or expect you to pay for it if it gets lost or stolen or damaged....ditto laptop or ipad. A previous employer asked about my insurance when my car was broken into and their laptop nicked, they wanted to use my insurance to claim the $2k back, I said no as did my insurance company, I'd have had to pay x2 car insurance to cover things like that. Employer then tried to insist I pay that extra....I left.... Funny as they like you to carry such things so they can ring you at any time for assistance...cake and eat it.

regards

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 12:34pm 1349220888

Nice Beastie Boys video BTW Amanda. Not sure which point it's related to though :-)

RIP Adam

by Belle | 3rd Oct 12, 12:49pm 1349221746

I did a spending fast when we needed 20k to buy our first property. It lasted a year. Poor kids, they were just little, by the end of the year we were out of everything. Noone had undies, socks or shoes.... it worked though and we got our place, our little castle.

by Andrewj | 3rd Oct 12, 1:11pm 1349223109

Be careful, Napoleons Mother Letizia did the same thing, cut the boys lunch out to pay for a sofa.

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 4:33pm 1349235233

OK I've read this a few times and I'm sorry Andrew, I'm missing it *makes hand whooshing over head gesture*.

What are you trying to say exactly? If Belles not careful one of her kids will start a war with Britain?

by Christov | 3rd Oct 12, 1:46pm 1349225218

Here's the thing Amanda, I remember leaning across the desk and saying to the Registrar.." is that it then..?" she said "yes is there something else you wanted..?, down the hall pay the clerk on the way out.."

We used what would have been wedding money to go out and buy (dep) our first home, matress on the floor, two dinning chairs , no table for two years, and poured everything we earned into being mortgage free by 25, we got there.....and we laughed a lot along the way, we still do , that hasn't changed.....for that alone, I am most grateful.

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 3:17pm 1349230677

"matress on the floor?"

you were lucky!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeXMKygwSco

(monty python lucky sketch)

by Christov | 3rd Oct 12, 3:21pm 1349230889

Know it backwards Stanley...luxury..! one of my all time fav's...dead parrot worth a lookie for you.

In fact a year or two back we did luxury here on a thread..GBH..Scarfo...PDK...Stevo ..the usual you know....some guy's thought we were serious bullshooters.

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 4:28pm 1349234895

LOl thought you might, but added link just in case.

"you try telling the kids of today that, and they won't believe you"

by Gummy Bear Hero | 3rd Oct 12, 5:09pm 1349237358

When the Count and moi first started blogging here at interest.co.nz , Bernard would come around in person , and super-glue shards of broken glass to keyboard of our steam-driven computors ....... our fingers would be bloody mass of stumps , torn to bone , before we finished commenting on 90 @ 9 ....

..... and you think you have it tough , lad , posting summit 'ere today ...... Luxury !

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 5:22pm 1349238147

well of course we had it tough. When I first starting blogging we used to have punch letters out of a stack of cards that had sharpened edges that cut our fingers off, using just the blunt end of a needle - the sharp end of which was buried into one of the bones of our hand to secure it.

Then we had to walk for weeks to the bank with a heavy sack of cards and no shoes and wait in the snow and rain for 3 days until the bank had processed the cards and then when we got back to class our teacher would beat us with his cane.

by Gummy Bear Hero | 3rd Oct 12, 5:37pm 1349239055

Catholic school ? ...... watch that " cane " , the teacher may be demonstrating to the boys his spiritual route ....

by Christov | 3rd Oct 12, 9:06pm 1349251596

All true Stanley....and you think the kids would believe it...?

by Ralph | 3rd Oct 12, 2:20pm 1349227237

Two is better than one and age does not change that.

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 4:35pm 1349235303

Sounding a bit like Hugh Hefner there, Ralph

by Ralph | 3rd Oct 12, 4:38pm 1349235489

Come on Stan, stop sitting on the fence. Hugh Hefner in a good way or a bad way?

by Gummy Bear Hero | 3rd Oct 12, 5:03pm 1349237010

There's a " bad way " to be Hugh Hefner .....

....... seriously , how is that possible ?

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 5:15pm 1349237724

funny you should say that GBH - are you old enough to remember Man ABout The House? I personally had a big crush on Paula Wilcox when I was a young impressionable tweenager, and thought Robin was the luckiest man alive. That was also about the time my friend started nicking Playboy magazines from the local dairy that had the odd feature about Hugh Hefner and his wild swing parties (because you know, we stole it to read) So the idea of cohabitating with a load of attractive females was born.

Then in my 20's I flatted with 3 women for a while, one who was Graham Lee's (National Party MP) daughter, and another who was Roger Maxwell's (National Party MP) daughter. They were all hot, and for a while it was great. It kind of lost it's sheen by time the girls synchronized periods, and then went downhill from there after a few magic interactions with their boyfriends etc etc.

So yeah, I dunno. It's better left as a fantasy IMHO.

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 5:06pm 1349237163

Well that depends on your perspective Ralph. Having been married to just one woman, the idea of having two doesn't really excite me. One is more than enough.

by Gummy Bear Hero | 3rd Oct 12, 5:21pm 1349238070

.... you reckon that a man doesn't have to be a bigamist to have one wife too many ?

by bawaugh | 3rd Oct 12, 3:10pm 1349230256

I have always used pre-paid phones because I can control the cost - no risk of the bill exploding due to a mistaken call etc.. In fact I have no home phone as well and rely on skype for my international calls.

As for loans to friends and family - always get it in writting and then in your mind write the debt off so that if they don't pay your friendship survives.

by StanGoodvibes | 3rd Oct 12, 3:20pm 1349230834

will you adopt me bawaugh?