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Lynda Moore says being too restrictive in your spending habits only makes you want to spend more. Keep money stress in perspective, she says, offering tips

Personal Finance / opinion
Lynda Moore says being too restrictive in your spending habits only makes you want to spend more. Keep money stress in perspective, she says, offering tips
fun with money

Like many Kiwi families, when I was growing up, we would go camping every summer holidays. In the evenings we played games, and Monopoly was our favourite. Somehow Dad always seemed to win, but that didn’t stop Mum and I having a great time, there was always lots of laughter as we went in and out of jail, (I seemed to spend more time in, than out), we bought and sold property, built houses and hotels, and of course collected our $200 as we passed Go. That was my first introduction to money.  Even though I knew it wasn’t real, it was a great way to learn.

I don’t exactly recall when money stopped being fun. It was probably when I had to start paying my own way and learning how far (or not) money goes. I can’t help but smile when I remember receiving my first pay when I started working as a 17-year-old: It didn’t go into my bank account, it was a brown paper envelope with cash in it!  I tipped it out on my desk, counted it and off I went to buy a lovely white sheepskin rug. That was definitely fun! The fun stopped when I got home: Mum was less impressed with the rug, since I’d spent my board money on it. 

From then onwards it was a chore to manage money. It became a source of angst, occasionally a touch of excitement, but the fun was gone.

We do need to take money seriously, particularly as we mature.  Our lives force us to get more serious about money as we add more complexity and responsibility along the way. Mental accounting kicks in, and we tuck our money away into little buckets in our mind: the mortgage or rent; the bills; the kids; and, if you’re lucky, retirement. There’s often nothing left for the fun bucket.

We start to hear more about the B word (budget), we are told what we should and shouldn’t do with our money to get a loan. We are told we need to be frugal to get ahead financially.

I want us to start making just a little bit of our money fun again. This means you need to stop being so scared of money; of not understanding how to manage it; not having enough of it; and worrying about it constantly. Going on holiday is fun, but can you make paying the power bill fun, too?

Now there’s a thought. How do you make day-to-day essential spending fun? By practising gratitude! I learned this from Kate Northrup. Be grateful when you are paying for something. Let’s take power as an example. We all complain about our power bill; let’s flip that. What if we didn’t have power? We wouldn’t be able to turn on the light or boil the kettle at the flick of a switch. Let alone curl up on the couch with the heater on and binge watch Netflix! Be grateful for that. Whatever you do with your money, be grateful for what it enables you to do for yourself and others.

I know things are tough right now, and the thought of having some guilt-free spending money can feel a bit counter intuitive. But being too restrictive only makes you want to spend more. Think about the diet analogy, the “I’m never having potato chips again”, only makes you want them more. The ‘I’m cutting out everything but essentials” can lead to binge spending.  A little bit of fun can help keep you on track with your spending and saving goals.

Now I have got you excited about having some fun money, let’s do it! Let’s start a fun money bucket.

  1. What is one small thing you can change now that will free up just a few $ to get you started?
  2. Be deliberate with your actions and transfer that money into your Fun Money bank account.
  3. Over the course of a month, see how many times you can reward yourself for saying no to something you don’t really want, and adding that to your Fun Money account.
  4. Now, it’s decision time.  At the end of the month, what are you going to do with your fun money?  Buy yourself (or someone else) a treat? Leave it there and watch it grow? There is no judgement on what you choose to do.  

Practise gratitude, practise conscious spending, and before you know it, you will have made money fun!


*Lynda Moore is a Money Mentalist coach and New Zealand’s only certified New Money Story® mentor. Lynda helps you understand why you do the things you do with your money, when we all know we should spend less than we earn. You can contact her here.

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11 Comments

  1. Sound advice.

It's always interesting how we human behave. I definitely budget 80% of the time and binge 20% of the time (controlled bingeng where i let myself just spend for a bit up to a reasonable limit)...  and kind of enjoy that yoyoing.  Never adding debt or spending from savings tho.

I do keep a budget... and run a lot of savings accounts and sharsies and add value to assets.. and so on (that I check from time to time when i am in that mood and adjust and make sure it all tracks upwards). So long term it works well.

I find for some people they seem to hate the idea of running a budget so just spend and earn and have no idea at all the consequences of any  of their financial actions on their overall savings or plan. Then they worry and get anxious about it all. The reason they dont plan seems to be some sort of procrastination .. intended to avoid time spent thinking and updatkng a budget.. as they find it boring and would rather thrive on anxiety and work long hours instead... those people would probably benefit most from a paid financial coach.

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I am a lot like you, run a few savings accounts, have a budget which only carries the weekly budgeted spend, rest goes to savings, TDs, Shareies, KS. I was never a big income earner but budgeted from very early after seeing my parents struggle all their lives. Now mortgage free, (after buying and renovating my way up the ladder to where we are now) we have always travelled (oseas at least once a year) , even with the three kids, but we never spent huge amounts on cars, furniture (can always get really good 2nd hand stuff for a fraction of price). Never did HP, couldn't afford it we didn't buy it. Now after years, in our early 50's we almost have a 3rd income from compounding interest. Only got to this stage by budgeting and planning.

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I have a holiday account. Cost of vehicles always seems to trim it. 

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I largely agree with this advice. I don't personally know that many people who are able to diligently budget every single last cent (I'm sure they exist in greater numbers than I personally know, of course). I know when I've tried to do very controlled budgeting, e.g. using apps like You Need A Budget where "every dollar has a job" I get a bit burned out/jaded after a while.

I find personal finance (and the budgeting aspect thereof) a bit like dieting. I know only a few people who can relentlessly manage every single mouthful of food they eat in order to "maximise" their health and fitness performance. What matters is eating right most of the time, and avoiding the big problems like drinking too many calories from booze or sugary drinks, or only ever eating processed food. 

I reckon if you get the "big things right", e.g. avoiding consumer debt - especially buying cars or expensive appliances on the tick - putting some money into savings and stable long term investments, and making typically sensible purchasing decisions with the cash you do have e.g. shopping specials where available, then you don't have to worry too much about spending $10 on lunch here or $100 on a pair of shoes there - unless, of course, you are in dire financial straits and every dollar really does count.

I could probably cut my food bill, for example, in half by only eating beans on toast and rice. But will that extra $75 a week really make my life that much better in the long run? Obviously if that is the difference between being broke or being in the black, it's a different story.

Full respect and credit, of course, to those who choose (or who are required by circumstances) to account for every cent.

 

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I'd love to be paid in a cash in a brown envelope. I know it'd be annoying to administer, but at least physical cash feels like something. My (very young) children barely see cash, and seem to think that I sort of just ask politely to get food from the supermarket. We've lost something by being so digital.

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I pay my children an hourly rate for work outside their regular chores, so they have some appreciation of exchanging labour for money while at the same time knowing that not every job is a paid one. I also leave receipts lying around, like the one for filling up the car last night, so they can work out for themselves how many hours they'll have to work just to stay mobile once they've left home.

They're teenagers now so we've started introducing them to the wider financial situation of the household. Our finances are moderately complex but not overly so, and over time they will take on some low level accounting work. It's not as tangible as physical notes and coins but they can still learn that once the big number gets to zero it's game over.

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Valuable advice - You can't take money to the grave, the odds of taking memories is at-least a bit higher!

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Along with good decisions, it's about not making bad decisions.

My father was a car dealer, and it always amazed me the number of people who would use hire purchase to buy a depreciating asset like a car. He liked to treat his customers well, so he had a lot of repeat buyers, some would trade in, and buy another car every year. 

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Buy now, don’t pay later 😊

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This concept is something I've long half-consciously done in lieu of formerly budgeting or saving. Passing on little purchases here and there that I don't really need, so I don't feel so bad about it when I do splurge. 

I seem to invariably have more left over than others around me that presumably make more of those little purchases as well as the splurge.

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The advice is fine, but given that the level of financial literacy on this forum is, i would suggest, very much higher than in the general public, is it relevant?

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